December 31, 2025 — In a stunning display of roster management and waiver wire wizardry, Silicon Valley Bank has claimed the championship trophy in the 7th Annual Jim Lahey Memorial League, proving that unlike its real-world counterpart, this SVB knows how to manage its assets.
The championship victory marks a historic moment for the franchise, which has overcome weeks of grueling competition, devastating injuries, and questionable referee calls to emerge victorious. In a remarkable turnaround, Silicon Valley Bank went from the league's worst team to the top performer, proving that perseverance and smart strategy can transform any season. While the original Silicon Valley Bank collapsed under the weight of poor risk management, this fantasy football powerhouse thrived through calculated risks and strategic plays.
"This victory is dedicated to Jim Lahey and all the league members who made this season unforgettable," said the SVB coaching staff. "Unlike our namesake, we're not going anywhere. This trophy is fully insured and FDIC-approved."
The 7th Annual Jim Lahey Memorial League has once again provided thrilling competition, memorable moments, and lasting friendships. Silicon Valley Bank's championship run serves as a reminder that in fantasy football, proper management and smart decisions lead to success — lessons the actual bank should have learned.
The coaching staff would like to thank all competitors for an incredible season and looks forward to defending the title next year.